Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
