I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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