Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Holy sore nipples Batman
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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