Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
