The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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