woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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