No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
