I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
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In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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