operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
