he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
