He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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