I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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