You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
