jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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