Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's never too late to be topless.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
