I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
