is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
