I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
