I don't think brook has ever known best
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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