The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
