How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
