I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
