Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
