He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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