1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
