member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
