Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
