I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
