We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
