he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
