No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
