I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
