Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
