every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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