This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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