She's JV to your varsity
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
