I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
