You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
