were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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