please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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