erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
