By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
