So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
