she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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