Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize