i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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