you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How does it feel to date your dad?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize