i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
