The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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