I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
