so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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