note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
