I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize