question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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