We need to rekindle our bromance
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
