i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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