South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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