Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
