Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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